Leadership Development Case Study

The Client

Briella, a committed professional and a soon-to-be mother, was continually wrestling with Impostor Syndrome. Striving for perfection, she associated confidence with additional qualifications. However, her imminent journey into motherhood brought about unique trials that necessitated confronting her internal critic.

The Challenge

Briella's pregnancy led to the cessation of her usual stress-relief methods - coffee, alcohol, and running. Without these outlets, she was left to face her internal critic more directly than ever before. The physical discomforts from pregnancy amplified her insecurities and her Impostor Syndrome intensified.

SKYL’s Strategy

Together with Briella, we initiated a process of breaking the impostor cycle. Our approach was multilayered:

1. Assessment: Initially, we examined Briella's belief that acquiring more qualifications equates to increased confidence. We identified the unhealthy pattern of her Impostor Syndrome and how it was feeding her insecurities.

2. Strategy: We developed a strategy to confront Briella's Impostor Syndrome head-on. By focusing on healthier ways to handle stress and face her internal critic, we laid the groundwork for her journey to self-confidence.

3. Intervention: We replaced her belief system around qualifications with a more robust understanding of her inherent worth. Through the process, Briella learned to directly address her emotions rather than suppress them.

4. Coaching: Ongoing coaching sessions helped Briella to internalize her new beliefs, navigate her emotions, and confidently confront her internal critic.

Results

Briella was able to control her internal critic and overcome her Impostor Syndrome. She developed a newfound understanding of her worth, independent of external qualifications, and began to evaluate her abilities realistically.

Impact: Briella's perception of self-worth no longer depended on the number of certificates she held. She discovered how to evaluate her abilities more realistically, leading to an increased sense of empowerment and self-confidence.

Excerpt from the book, Speak Kindly, You're Listening, by: Dr. Jessica Metcalfe

Another client of mine didn’t discover she used numbing behaviours until she got pregnant. When Briella and I first started working together before her pregnancy, her biggest concern was she felt like she needed to go back to school to get another certificate. Another certificate meant she would be more confident, right? Wrong. Another certificate, another degree, another set of letters after your name isn’t going to make you feel more confident if your inner critic is still allowed to terrorize you. This is impostor phenomenon at its finest.”

Fun fact from the tech company Hewlett-Packard: when they were interested in why top management positions didn’t have more women in the roles, they discovered women apply for jobs when they meet 100 percent of the qualifications while men apply when they meet only 60 percent. I bring this up because when you get another certificate and you still don’t feel more confident, your numbing behaviours provide a false sense of relief.

Briella was a first-time mom and found her first trimester difficult. She was constantly nauseated and uncomfortable, developed acid reflux, and had challenges sleeping.

Any time our physical body doesn’t feel well, it is easy for the inner critic to make itself known and exert itself. It can use those moments of discomfort that prey on your insecurities and vulnerabilities. That’s why your inner critic continues to be a trickster. You’ve heard this voice for so long and it’s quite familiar, but it hasn’t really been helping you along the way.

During Briella’s first trimester she stopped drinking coffee and alcohol, for obvious reasons, and during her second trimester she ran less often due to pelvic floor dysfunction. Briella was joyful about her pregnancy yet frustrated. All of the things that brought her joy on a regular basis—coffee, alcohol, running—she couldn’t use. It was during this time that Briella recognized every night after a bad day of work, she would convince herself she deserved a glass of wine. Now she had to figure out another way to de-stress and actively sit with her inner critic, instead of drowning its voice with a glass of wine. Processing and embracing the uncomfortable emotions when shitstorms happen allows you to unpack the anxiety container and teach your FF response that it isn’t necessary to react. That glass of wine may soothe for a short period of time, but long term it just means the lid will eventually pop off the anxiety container.

Briella hated she couldn’t run since that was one space she used to clear her mind. Sometimes she pushed herself too hard because her inner critic would convince her that she wasn’t capable elsewhere or failed at something during the day. The days she pushed her running limits were days she came home, crashed on the couch, or potentially injured herself.

As that high achiever, it is easy to push your limits to the max because you know you are capable. But it is just as important to understand when, where, and how you push those limits so you don’t break yourself in the process. You can’t improve yourself if you are constantly reasoning with your inner critic that you only deserve something if you beat yourself up first. Your inner critic has been given the opportunity to be unkind to yourself for some time now. As we continue to rewrite the narrative, then you begin to hear a new, kinder and compassionate voice.

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